Wow! Twice in one day! That must be a new record or something. Anyway, there’s a lot of feelings right now and I know you’re the best person to talk to about them. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I feel trapped. I feel hopeless? But what I don’t feel is angry. I think I should be angry after all that’s happened. I mean, I gave them the best years of my life and they’re still willing to throw me away like I’m nothing? God, I wish I was kidding about that last part but I’m not.
I guess I do feel angry. But its not the kind of anger that makes you hot or turn red like in the cartoons. It’s more like the kind of anger that makes you sad. Have you ever thought about that? How there’s different kinds of anger? I guess you have; you think about everything.
Sorry, that was mean. Anyway, I’m sad and I’m angry. If I had listened in my counseling class, I would probably break out the feelings wheel and ask myself to be more specific about how I’m feeling. Or I’d ask “how do you think God is working through all of this?” But I didn’t listen, and I regret it now. So if you ever read this Miss Holt, I’m sorry. Who am I kidding? She’ll never read this. None of them will.
I guess I’m just rambling at this point. Anyway, sorry for being mean earlier. I’ll write to you soon.