I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. I’m not sure what the next steps are for me, I don’t know where to turn or what to do. And the funniest things is, I don’t know why I feel this way.
I guess it could be because it’s Pride month and I can’t really celebrate how I want to, or many because I feel lonely. Or maybe it’s because I’m moving (again).
I’ve been through too many moves in too little time. It feels like I don’t belong anywhere, or that I belong in too many places. I don’t think that makes much sense, but then again, most of the things I write you don’t make much sense at all.
In two weeks, I’ll be able to write to you without having to connect to my hotspot, which is very nice, and I might be able to write to you more often. I think that’ll help a lot.
You must be wondering why I titled this letter “cereal bowls.” The reason is because cereal bowls always make me feel better. There’s just something about something crunchy and sugary sweet that makes me feel like I can get through anything.
I guess I just need to find the metaphorical bowls of cereal in life, rather than just eating bowls of cereal. That gets expensive fast. but I need to start finding joy in my life, rather than just sitting in the hurt and the sadness all the time.
I want to be happy, Alice, but I don’t know how. I keep looking inside myself to find happiness, but I think I need to star looking outside myself. I need to find more cereal bowls. Because the inside of me feels like a scary place to be. It feels like it’s filled with so much hurt and pain that I can’t find the light inside.
So if I can’t find the light inside, maybe I can find it outside myself.
I don’t know, Alice, all this sounds crazy, but I guess there’s some truth to it.
Anyway, I’ll talk to you later.